Brought to you by 263px


Hey guys, in case you haven't heard I've had a wicked head cold these last few days and its left me in a foul humor, so I'm not much good for writing anything except a rant. Which is what I'm doing now.

If you read it, even just one section or skimming it, please, leave a comment. It lets me know you read it and makes me feel better.

So without further ado...

Things I'd like to change

Marvel Comics

-Marvel needs to either ditch the Mutant-hate in their universe or move the X-Men to their own continuity. It makes no sense at all for people to cheer for the avengers but be so freaked out over the possibility of superpowers becoming commonplace that they build giant robots programmed to hunt down and execute metahumans.

Marvel Movies

-Remove X-Men Origins Wolverine from existence and redo it, properly this time. Fix Deadpool. The Merc with a Mouth needs his mouth! He's no fun without it, and the absurd grab bag of mutant powers and "Weapon XI" was just total bullshit.

-Redo X-Men The Last Stand, bring back Nightcrawler, bring in the Hellfire Club, bring back Sabretooth and maybe Toad, bring in Psylocke or Gambit or Quicksilver or Scarlet With or Madelyn Pryor or somebody, there are so many more mutants that need to be in that movie.

Pokemon Games

-I am sick of the three starter types (Fire/Water/Grass). Every game, you get one of the three starters, and they're always one of those three types. Well what if I don't want a water or grass or fire type? I want a freaking DRAGON type, or dark or steel or ghost, or hell I'd even settle for a rock or flying type if I could just get something other than one of those three types!

-Also on that note, does it bug the crap out of anyone else that the starters can't be caught in the wild? This also applies to "evolve upon trading" pokemon and legendaries that can only be gotten by trading or attending events. I know its supposed to promote trading and interaction with other people, but what about poor nerdy country boys like me who don't have any friends of sufficient nerdiness to trade with and can't go to these events to get the legendaries because they're too far away? We can never complete the pokedex no matter how damn good we are at the game!

-Another thing I'd like to see is a shake up in the story. I don't mind the 8 gyms Elite 4 thing, but why am I always from the most rinkydink podunk little village in the region on a quest to fill a pokedex and become the pokemon league champion? Why can't I be from a big city? What if I don't want to be the Champion? What if I want to be a Gym Leader or one of the Elite 4? Or a pokemon breeder who sells eggs to aspiring trainers? Or just some random badass adventurer who roams about the world kicking ass and taking names?

-That brings me to another problem: Once you've beaten the Elite 4 and become the champ (angry glare at overused and overly simple plot) there's nothing else to do! In Johto you can go to Kanto afterwards and in the Gen III Kanto games you can go to the Sevii Islands, but that's it! There's nothing else! And if you know about them in advance and you're good at the game, those are a cake walk! Why can't we go to the other regions? I think it would be great to be able to not only choose your home town, but your home region! And even better, what if you didn't have to beat the Elite 4 to go to another region? What if you could just gather enough money and then take off for wherever you wanted? You could gather an interregional dream team and then take on the various leagues at your leisure! The Gym Leaders and Elites could have their teams altered based on your team's average level, and then every one of them would be an appropriate challenge, Brock wouldn't be a joke anymore because if you came at him with pokemon all leveled in the 90's, he'd have the most badass fossil and rock pokemon ever!

-Speaking of Brock reminds me of something else, Ash always has his tagalongs/sidekicks, why can't we? They've had follow-you-Pikachu since Gen I, surely they could arrange to have companions for your character who could team up with you for tag battles or give helpful advice or crack jokes or something! Imagine being able to pick up random trainers, or hell, even Gym Leaders and Elites to be your traveling buddy! I'd upgrade my console in a heartbeat to have Cynthia or Clair or Flannery as my travel buddy!

-And something that rankles me, in the Kanto Games, there's a guy in Cerulean City who will offer to let you join Team Rocket! But the game won't let you accept! What if I want to be the villain? Heck I'd do it just for the cool uniform and twist on the game's plot! Can you imagine how awesome it would be to be a member of the Poke-MAFIA? You could take Giovanni's place and be the new head of Team Rocket/Magma/Aqua/Whoever!

-Something else that bugs me is that there are locations that can't be gotten to in the English versions of the games. In Emerald there's a space station, which in the Japanese version you can go up to and get either a Jirachi or a Deoxys, but you can't go in the English version, which straight up sucks.

-Another thing on my list is the fact that there were a lot of great "glitches" in Gen I that weren't carried over to any of the following generations. Like being able to battle Professor Oak. I want to battle the Professor! Why can't I battle the Professor? Also all the infamous Mew grabs. I want a Mew or a Celebi so damn bad but I can't get one! And MissingNo! Why can't that be expanded upon? Why can't it be some kind of mystery Legendary pokemon that even Oak's never seen?

-Also, why do none of the movies tie into the games? Screw Cerulean Cave, I wanna go to Mew Two's island castle and hear his doomsday plans before I catch him! What about that awesome flying fortress from Pokemon 2000 with the guy that was trying to capture Lugia and the three Legendary Birds? That would be awesome! And what about that poacher who was after Celebi in Pokemon 4ever? He was freaking badass! The two Team Rocket Girls that were after Latios and Latias in Pokemon Heroes and that cool city with the resurrected Aerodactyl and Kabutops? I want to see that! The Master of Mirage Pokemon had an arsenal full of legendaries with impossible movesets! That would be one of the most badass battles ever!

-And why WHY can't legendaries breed? In the anime we clearly see a baby Lugia being rescued from Team Rocket. I WANT A BABY LUGIA! IT WAS SO CUTE!

-Lastly, I want to address how STUPID it is for Dragonite to look like that. It's base form: Blue serpentine dragon hatchling. It's second form: Blue serpentine water dragon. Dragonite: Orange plush toy. W. T. F?! Dragonair should evolve into a badass Chinese lung style dragon with a white mane and tufty tail, no wings and clouds around it! Like Rayquaza but cooler and blue!

Young Justice

I want my show back and I want it back NOW.

Teen Titans

Throw out these absurd chibi imposters (Teen Titans Go) and bring back the REAL Titans. They had plenty more stories to tell!

Avatar: The Search

Should be erased from history.

Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.